Last Updated on July 14, 2026 by Distance Parent
The co-parenting relationship is one of the most important factors in a long distance parenting arrangement. When it is working well, things move smoothly. When it is not, the breakdown can cost the long distance parent custody, visitation, involvement in their child’s life, and ultimately the relationship with their child.
In the Distance Parent community, one question comes up regularly: I am in the worst case scenario with my co-parent. My parental rights are being threatened. What do I do?
These strategies are for the long distance parent facing exactly that situation.
1. Go Back to Basics
In a contentious co-parenting relationship, it is worth stepping back and learning the fundamentals of maintaining a co-parenting relationship even with someone you dislike or who is being difficult. Co-parenting books recommended by long distance parents are a good starting point. For the price of a paperback you can have a wealth of advice that could genuinely shift the dynamic.
2. Clean Up Your Own Communication
In a contentious co-parenting relationship, everyone points fingers. It is worth taking an honest look at your own communication habits before focusing entirely on the other parent. Make sure you have the fundamentals of smooth co-parent communication in place and build on those with tried and true co-parent communication tactics.
3. Know Your Rights and Your Case
Know the law, your case, and your judge. Read every piece of paper related to your situation. Know what is allowed and what is not. Research divorce and custody law in your district and state. Know when your co-parent is required to accept your calls and how much notice they must give you. Know what you are required to provide to them and when. At the end of the day it is not your attorney who will lose sleep if you get the short end of the stick. Do your future self the favor of preparing ahead of time.
4. Document Everything
Keep a log of what is happening. Use an online co-parenting tool or paper and pen — whatever you will actually maintain consistently. Every entry should include the date, time, any witnesses, and exactly what happened. Log events even when they are borderline. Stick to facts you personally observed. It is better to have too much documentation than not enough.
5. Keep Everything
Keep every piece of paper, every email, every text message, every picture, every screenshot. Find an organizational system that works for you and maintain it. If your situation ends up in court, every piece of evidence matters. When your child is grown you can have a bonfire and celebrate not needing it anymore.
6. Disengage When Necessary
When you or your co-parent is angry or unreceptive, disengage from the conversation and come back to it when everyone is in a better state. When both parties are angry, nothing productive happens and concerns go unaddressed. Disengaging is not losing — it is strategy.
7. Take It to Court When You Have a Real Case
No one wants to be in court but sometimes it is the only recourse. If your co-parent is keeping your child from you, a court order is often the only remedy. You do not need an attorney to make a case if it is sound and well documented. Most states and districts have self-help legal resources and fee waivers for low income parents. How to manage your court case covers the process in detail.
8. Do Not Take Frivolous Things to Court
Temper your emotions with reason. A missed phone call is frustrating but it is rarely worth a court filing. Frivolous motions damage your credibility with the judge. When you do file something, make it count. Before anything goes to court, take an honest look at your own actions as well. Fix what needs fixing and change what needs changing so you are completely confident you have done your best before asking a judge to weigh in.
9. Ask the Court for a Court-Approved Communication System
Several software platforms are used by court systems specifically for co-parent communication. All communication goes through the platform, and because the court recommends it, they generally have access to everything that passes through it. When you go to court, the record is already there. Two widely used platforms are TalkingParents and OurFamilyWizard. Ask your court whether either is approved in your jurisdiction.
10. Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Your personal life is not your co-parent’s business. Your family, your choices, your relationships — all of it is yours. Keep it that way regardless of what your co-parent says or implies. Maintaining clear boundaries protects you emotionally and legally.
11. Have Courage and Be Kind
Stand up for yourself without threatening the other parent. They do not believe your threats and they think they are right too. Bide your time, be thoughtful and methodical, and when you get what you need, let the result speak for itself. Do not lord it over the other parent. Take it as confirmation that you are doing things right.
If you are navigating a difficult co-parenting situation, the Distance Parent Facebook group is a private community of parents who have been through exactly this and can offer a real-world perspective.
This post was updated July 14, 2026.
question: does the primary custodian parent have an obligation to get a 12 yr old child to the airport and make sure they are on the plane? Or do I have to hire someone to pick up the child take him to the airport and stay with him and make sure he is boarded on the plane?
I’ve never heard of hiring someone to make sure they are on the plane. After thinking about it, I can’t think of a really good reason for that. The airport requires all sorts of id when you drop a child off… the essentially want the person who is legally responsible for the child.