The comments sections of the posts on the site are always active with new comments from long distance parents. Reading through these can give an immediate knowledge of not being alone in long distance parenting.
Getting involved in the conversation is a great way to find support. Commenting is easy and does not require a subscription. Although, if you’d like to get updates when someone replies, you can do that too!
Recently on distanceparent.org
Long Distance Parenting Resource Kit
onGreat post, thank you! I need this!
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onI want to say, thank you for these posts. I’m a first time parent and I can only see my child online, so these posts have helped me when I was scrolling at 3 am in a desperate haze. I hope everything has gone well with your child. I’ll include blessings for you in my prayers!
- Read more on Long Distance Parenting Tool KitMissing my Daughter
oni was 19 when i had my firstborn. because of life circumstances that i endured and poorly made decisions at a young age , feelings of being unfit to be a mother. im 25 now and i still think of her everyday. i hope that one day when she gets older , she dosent hate me . because i love that little girl so much , i will understand even if she dose. i dont have exactly the same as other comments ive read, but i just seen that this was a site about missing your kids… and even if how each kid is gone is different. i pray for every single mother who misses thier kids. beacuse it just never goes away dose it? i pray god gives me a chance to love her one day , and until then im making sure im ready for when she comes … i love you delilah
- Read more on Missing my DaughterWhat Long Distance Parenting Is and Is Not
onDear Jason, You are good father. Your son should be lucky to have you. Life is not easy and fair for some people. May the god give you the strength and to find happiness. I hope your son will understand about your hardship at some point of life. That matters. Wishing you all the best.. Cheers – BlackMan
- Read more on What Long Distance Parenting Is and Is NotThe Judgement of a Long Distance Mom
onMoments ago I received the official dismissal of my petition for relocation to Florida from New York with my seven year old son. I am now looking down the barrel of accepting a holiday summer schedule with him. This is a huge adjustment from our current 7 on 7 off schedule in which I am his primary caregiver and homeschooling parent. My ex and I have a more than contentious relationship. But I have been blessed with my current spouse. He and I have a 4 month old son and while he resides in Florida he came to New York for the birth of our son and stayed and paid for the entire custody proceeding of my first son. Now the clock has run out and it’s time to move to Florida so that we can become a family. Unfortunately I feel like I am abandoning my son. As a mother I can not explain how comforting it is to know I’m not alone. It’s 2:23am and this is the only thing keeping me from loosing my mind. The judgment I have received can only be explained as bullets. Bullets into my soul and the fabric of my bleeding mothers heart. I feel for everyone on this thread. One million times thank you to Clarice for leading this discussion. Being a mother is the most difficult and frequently judged role on the planet. As such we all feel like we are failing and succeeding at one moment or another almost every single day. It is wonderful to hear from others in my situation and know that moving away doesn’t make me a “bad momâ€.
- Read more on The Judgement of a Long Distance MomLong Distance Parenting Case Law and Strategy
oncan you recommend some cases for determining long distance visitation schedule for situation where the noncustodial parent moved away
- Read more on Long Distance Parenting Case Law and StrategyThe Judgement of a Long Distance Mom
onI just came across this site tonight while pondering the question.. are there other parents out there going through what I’ve gone through and if so how are they doing. Wow.. I had no idea that there were articles on this, much less Facebook group. I have been a long distance mom since 2017. I sat tonight by a fire before finding this article, asking myself what was wrong with me that I would’ve have moved away from my two young sons. As I read the articles and comments, I realized the pain and despair I felt after a 25 yrs of marriage relationship ended, was not just a made up set of emotions. I’m a Believer ( Christian) and my Faith in the Lord and directing my path have always been of utmost importance to me. Gosh, so much to share. So much in emotions of grief, loss of being with them, seeing them only every other weekend and summers. I’m so grateful to have this, my heart aches for those moms that have greater distances. We’ve been co parenting since 2016 and have worked through a lot of resentment on both our behalfs. We’re both remarried and I honestly can say our sons are doing well. ( they do miss me very much and I them, daily) it has been SO hard, the judgment by other Christian moms is non verbal, but very clear. That hurts tremendously, but no one will ever understand what life situation I lived in, because they will have never walked in my shoes. I truly believe that my boys have a greater life, both physically and spiritually ( my new husband is the Godly husband I prayed for, for years) the impact he has made on my/ our boys will go with them for the rest of their lives. We stay connected twice a week on FaceTime and snuggle as much as possible when were together. I’m a better woman, healing more each year, and their dad had to grow up snd stop being Disney dad. We both have wonderful spouses that love our kids. I’m grateful for where we are, my heart misses them daily, but I see God’s hand at work. I hope you can too…
- Read more on The Judgement of a Long Distance MomThe Complete Guide to Planning for Long Distance Parents
onI have been a divorced father for the past 6 years. I see my twin daughters 2 days every fortnight. Those two days used to be every other weekend with a night spent at my place. As they got older (now 15) the 2 days are more difficult to plan (frequent postponements) and then they no longer stay the night. I have a possibility to relocate back to my home country (1200 miles away, but easily reachable by air). My parental involvement seems to be diminishing as both girls are teenagers and prioritizing other things besides spending time with dad. Is this a good time to relocate (they will turn 16 this year) or should I wait until they are 18 and definite adults?
- Read more on The Complete Guide to Planning for Long Distance ParentsWhen The Custodial Parent Blocks Communication with the Kids
onHow’s it going? I’m here in 2023 just going thru different situations, new to divorce and co-parenting. I see that most posts here went unanswered. I was touched by your post and wondering how things are now that your child should be a teen now.
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onThank you so much!!! My membership is pending!!
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onHi Lisa! There is a really great supportive group here : https://www.facebook.com/groups/distanceparent The group centers the experience of the ldp and everyone there is intimately familiar with the stigma (which is not perpetuated there). We would love to have you!
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onClarice… it was so good to read your post. I have been struggling with being a long distance mom to my daughter, then I read you are in Colorado and that’s where I moved home too!! I was searching for support for long distance moms when I came across your post. Do you think we could visit over phone or meet up? I really think there should be a support group for moms in our situation. It would be so helpful and encouraging for us to have other moms in similar situations. Lisa
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onIt is always a really really difficult decision to make. In general, if parents aren’t set up for success, we are limited in what we can provide for our kids. In many cases, the support we can provide a child in a more ideal circumstance but at a distance is better than what we can provide while living near them in a less advantageous circumstance. But that decision and the pros and cons of it is always uniquely personal to the people involved and the situations they are in. This post talks a little more about that : https://distanceparent.org/how-to/how-to-make-the-decision-to-be-away-from-your-child/ It was really great to find this paper that collated other research in a way that is meaningful to long distance parenting. But of course, research is only as good as the sample and the biases involved and an individual case may not conform with the statistics. Each parent and child and situation are different. Best of luck in your journey.
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onI’ve been looking at research on this.. I moved with my then 12 yr old to a different city to his dad( not that far 10 miles) He would visit his dad at wkends.. He’s now 28 & says it was difficult at that age.. I’m now contemplating moving back to that city and visiting my now 13 yr old regularly 3/4 times a wk. His dad would put up a massive fight to not let him move & his friends are here.. My parents split my dad moved to another town , and I was much more secure staying in same house , not going between two.. My dad just visited for the day , but obv all not too far from one another .. As a mother it’s a very hard decision , whether to stay in a financially abusive relationship , for the child or to get out. I have same issue as couldn’t afford to stay in separate flat & Will Ned to fight for my rights financially.. For now I want security for my son., For now I’m in a separate room of same house.. It’s v tricky.. as I may have to wait 3-5 yrs before can move , until son is 16-18..
- Read more on How Having a Distance Parent Affects a ChildThe Judgement of a Long Distance Mom
onHow are you doing now? Your words are exactly what I am feeling. Having to make the decision to get out of a place full of memories of abuse. Afraid to go to a local establishment in fear of running into certain people. My husband was relocated for work to Oregon. I am still in Texas for the past year traveling to see my husband while being here for my kids. I am at the end of my rope. I feel stuck in the mud.
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hi guys. im new here. i have 3 kids all under the age of 6 living abroad. i havent seen my kids in such a long time and every day this hurts me worse and worse. it literally kills my soul. my kids are in the Caribbean and i have to fly out to see them. i get the pictures and videos of all of them. i put on a brave face to everyone but it gets harder and harder to deal with. anybody else in a position of nearly 5000 miles from theirs? im scared that they will all especially my daughter forget who i am.
I really need some advice. This is heavy on my heart and I can already feel the critisms coming from my family. My ex and I were not married 11 years ago when I got pregnant with our son. I had full custody, then when he started school he got full custody. I had to relocate to Alabama awhile he stayed in PA. We had an okay plan for me seeing our son. He relocated to FL with his wife, daughter, and our son. (Job transfer) he said if I move my family bc I married have a son and sole custody of his children he would do 50/50 custody. Well we moved here 5 months ago and we are drowning trying to stay okay financially, but it’s not working. My husband is 100% disabled veteran and together we have 6 kids. I work full time and see my kid (my ex n i’s) whenever our son wants to come visit and when he is grounded he punishes me of not seeing him bc he is grounded from going anywhere//which means my house. I didnt sign up for this kind of relationship with our son to be controlled or him controlling the situation. Our son is ADHD and borderline spectrum disorder. We financially cant afford it here and it’s taking a strain on my marriage. I don’t know what to do and really need advice. My husband has been supportive but he is real and he knows we are struggling. We also take care of my 70 yr old mom who lives with us who just ripped me to shreds about wanting too move. I love my 11 yr old more than words can Express but we can’t afford it here in FLORIDA.
Although my situation is different, I can totally relate to being in a tough situation like that and there are certainly lots of other long distance parents in very similar situations. Being able to take care of yourself and those you are responsible for is paramount, IMO. If you are in a situation where you can’t afford basic living expenses, then you can’t do that and sometimes that means totally reevaluating the situation and rearranging things to make that possible, which sometimes means moving. My own opinion, clearly, is that moving doesn’t mean abandonment and it is possible to stay super involved in your child’s life while being at a distance. Family sometimes does criticize… as does the rest of our surrounding society. Sometimes, you just have to put your head down and do the best thing despite criticism.
If you haven’t done the pros and cons list, maybe start there. https://distanceparent.org/how-to/how-to-make-the-decision-to-be-away-from-your-child/ And check out the facebook group for a bunch of really great support from others that have been there too. 🙂