Last Updated on July 14, 2026 by Distance Parent
One of the most difficult moments in long distance parenting is the goodbye. The airport curb, the two-minute handoff, the long flight home alone. How a parent handles that moment matters more than most people realize and not for the parent’s sake, but for the child’s.
A longtime Distance Parent community member shares this:
I was always taught that there are very few times when a grown man should cry. My own personal list of permissible occasions definitely includes those few minutes when I am returning my daughter to her mother after a week or two of good quality time together.
Life as we know it changes for the duration of the time that she is with us. My girlfriend and I temporarily abandon our come-and-go-as-we-please lifestyle to adapt to the warm and inviting home that my daughter knows in California. Sushi and fish tacos are replaced by fish sticks and chicken tenders, and Nickelodeon tends to be the order of the day on the flat screen. Late nights at the office take a back seat to playing Go Fish and reading a fairytale princess story before bed. But it is all so very welcome and we both get upset when it is time for her to go back.
I start to feel a bit sad about the day before I have to take her back, as I am compiling my mental checklist of things I need to remember to pack. She often senses this slight gloom and ironically it is her reminding me that “Daddy, but I’m still here right now,” in that adorable high pitched voice. It is amazingly deep sentiment coming from such an innocent four-year-old girl, showing that even this thirty-something daddy can still learn a thing or two from his little princess: enjoy the moment. Thinking about setting the alarm to catch a plane bums me out, because I know that at the end of the long day of travel, even though I’ll sleep like a baby and get back to my normal work routine, there will be a big piece of me now 1,500 miles away.
Her mom usually meets us at the curb out in front of the airport, which means I have all of about two minutes to say my goodbyes, remind my daughter that I am just a phone call away, and give her a big hug and kiss. The whole time, I know that she needs me to be strong for her, as she is struggling to cope with the notion of not seeing me again for a little while. It does not reassure her if I, too, am a bumbling sobbing mess when we part. So I bite my quivering lip and try to avoid eye contact with virtually everyone, so as not to embarrass myself or have her see me in such a vulnerable state. I usually crack an inside joke to break the heaviness of the moment for her — or maybe that is for me — and send her on her way, hopefully with a slight smile under the inevitable tears. The resulting loneliness for the next seven hours or so is something that never gets any easier no matter how many times I experience it.
When I first became a long distance parent, I came to this very site for insight and to figure out how to be the best long distance parent I could be. Having this community to read the experiences of others and feel a sense of connection with those who share a similar situation is genuinely helpful, especially during such a difficult adjustment. One book I found during that search was The Loneliness of the Long Distance Father by Simon Worrell. It is a brief read at only 26 pages, but I reread it every now and again because it captures the emotions of these goodbyes so well.
The one idea that resonated above all others was this: during these emotionally trying moments, a long distance parent’s role is not to share their emotions with their child. That is not what children need. They need to see their parent strong and know that everything is going to be okay. Having them share our sadness does not make things any easier and if anything only makes the moment harder. It is the same reason not to drone on about how much you miss your child when you talk on the phone. They already know it and they miss you too. What they need is reassurance and whatever sense of security and stability you can provide. It is one of the most difficult aspects of long distance parenting but it is an important one. It is fine to let children know you love them and miss them. Making them sad about it in the process is counterproductive.
So yes, I might make a beeline to the men’s room at the airport to splash some water on my face and dry my eyes after I say goodbye. But I do not want her to know that. I want her to think of the fun we have had, laugh at our inside jokes, and leave wanting to do it all again really soon. After all, I like fish sticks and chicken tenders too.
If this resonates with where you are right now, the Distance Parent Facebook group is a private community of parents who understand.
This post was updated July 14, 2026.
