Last Updated on April 22, 2026 by Distance Parent
Holidays are complicated for long distance parents. The schedule, the travel, the gift coordination, the emotional weight of being away, or the guilt of having your child away from their other parent, all stack up at the same time of year. A little planning goes a long way.
Here are the strategies that make the biggest difference.
Plan the Schedule Early
Holiday scheduling is one of the most common sources of conflict in co-parenting relationships. The earlier both parents have clarity on who has the child and when, the less room there is for last-minute disputes.
Most long distance parenting plans use an even/odd schedule for holidays — one parent has a given holiday in even years, the other in odd years. If yours does not have this built in yet, getting it into your parenting plan is worth prioritizing before the next holiday season.
Keep Your Word
Arrive on time. Drop off on time. Follow the schedule as agreed. This sounds obvious, but holiday excitement, travel delays, and family pressure can all create the temptation to stretch things. Consistent reliability builds trust with your co-parent and models something important for your child.
Stay Connected When You Are Not There
If your child is with the other parent for a holiday, call. Send a card that arrives before the day. Consider celebrating together on a different day. Children love parties and gifts regardless of the calendar date, and a celebration that is uniquely yours and theirs can become its own meaningful tradition. See Celebrating Your Child’s Birthday When You Can’t Be There for more ideas to make the day special.
Let Your Child Stay Connected When They Are With You
If your child is with you for the holiday, give them time and space to connect with their other parent. Help young children make or receive a call. Make sure any cards or messages from the other parent reach your child. Do not schedule exciting activities at the same time the child is supposed to speak with their other parent.
Children often have short phone calls. That is normal and not a reflection of the other parent’s relationship with them.
Make Travel Arrangements Early
Holiday travel is more expensive and more complicated than regular travel. Book as early as possible. If your child is flying as an unaccompanied minor, confirm the airline’s current policies and fees in advance. See How to Save Money on Long Distance Parenting Travel for additional tips.
Coordinate Gift Giving
A quick conversation with your co-parent about major gifts avoids the classic problem of both parents giving the same thing. If your co-parent will not engage in that conversation, proceed with your own plans and keep the child out of any resulting awkwardness. Do not complain to your child about the other parent’s gifts or choices.
Let your child freely take gifts between homes. A toy or a book belongs to the child, not to the house it arrived in.
Observe Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
Let your child spend Mother’s Day with their mother and Father’s Day with their father wherever possible. Help your child make or buy a card and gift for the other parent if they are too young to manage it themselves. This is not a favor to your co-parent. It is a gift to your child, who benefits enormously from being given permission to love both parents fully.
Create Your Own Celebrations
You do not need to attend every party or be present for every milestone to be part of your child’s life. If your co-parent is hosting a birthday party or holiday celebration, give your own celebration on a different day. Your child gets more celebration, not less. Make yours something specific to the two of you, a tradition that belongs to your relationship and nowhere else.
The Holidays Are for Your Child
Every decision during the holiday season is easier when it is made through the lens of what is best for your child rather than what feels fair to you. Children who are allowed to enjoy both parents, move freely between homes, and keep gifts and relationships intact come through the holiday season significantly better than children caught in the middle of adult conflict.
The distance makes it harder. The intention makes the difference.
