This is a really touchy situation from the mailbox.

First, I would recommend finding support – either through this site or the other sites out there geared towards long distance parenting. Via these resources, start to put together a realistic idea of what you’re facing before you make your final decision. It’s a hard road to hack and not every parenting relationship is cut out to handle it.

If there is one thing I work with on a regular basis with my life coaching clients who are parents, it is to walk the walk. Kids are smart and they read more between the lines then they actually do the lines themselves.. because let’s face it… they don’t listen to a word we say.

If you’ve decided to move, you HAVE to be able to see it as a positive yourself or you are not going to be able to convince your child to see the positives. If you see it as a horrible thing, your child will pick up on that and see it as a horrible thing, no matter what comes out of your mouth or how real your fake smile seems.

So your first assignment is to make a list with three columns : the positives, negatives and remedies. For each negative, write something in the remedies column… a few things that you can make it a little better. The remedies will NOT completely solve every negative but they will… (More)

When someone tells me they are getting a divorce and the other parent will be getting physical custody of the child(ren), there is one piece of advice I always give them. It is : Make your parenting plan EXACTLY what you want no matter how wonderful your relationship with the other parent is right now, no matter how idealistic your views of co-parenting may be… plan for the worst.

My ex and I split quite peacefully. There was some pain and hurt – but we were friends. We wanted our son to always have both parents. We wanted to cooperate and co-parent even though we were separated. We had a verbal agreement and even went so far as to take it to an attorney to make it official (we thought “WOW… that’s a stretch… make it legal?! We don’t need to do all that, do we?”).

Then his mother and then, girlfriend got involved. Oddly, the attorney disappeared along with the written agreement. Suddenly, he simply was not going to give me my son, as we had agreed. He filed for divorce again, this time claiming abandonment. That was, of course, overturned and we went through the legal process and got a parenting plan in place. I fought tooth and nail to get stuff into the parenting plan that we had previously agreed upon. Things he had ASSURED me he thought were in the best interest of our son only months before.

Later, once everything was… (More)

Rick Ortiz posted an interesting article about virtual visitation that I presume is by Richard Coffee. Unfortunately, between the two captcha systems, I couldn’t get my comment to post. So here is a response to the article.

You raise very legitimate points that I think every parent should consider when creating a long distance parenting plan. However, many, if not all, of these concerns can be addressed with proper planning prior to creating a parenting plan that includes virtual visitation.

Although abuse of long distance parenting plans may occur, there is no more risk of that than with any other parenting arrangement. Just like abuse or violations in the parenting agreement of a non-long distance situation, violations of a long distance parenting plan can and should be pursued through the courts. As someone who has taken care of such violations in court, I am quite certain that a parent’s rights to visitation, no matter the means, or not to be otherwise alienated from their child are respected by any judge.

Again, as a parent who has been on both sides of the long distance parenting relationship – that of the custodial and the non-custodial parent, I can personally attest to the fact that virtual visitation is a wonderful supplement to a long distance parenting relationship and that all of these concerns can be addressed in a well written parenting plan. That said, as you point out, it is not an adequate substitution to in-person parenting time.

The image of long distance parents (moms especially) is in desperate need of a makeover. I think it is important for all of us, whether we are distance parents by choice or by circumstance, to focus on maintaining a happy, healthy family life.

“Technology is making it easier for noncustodial, divorced parents to maintain their bond with their children.

In virtual visitation, computers are outfitted with webcams that allow parents and children to see each other, making a phone call much more personal and much easier for younger children. ”

See the full story at ABC News.