I haven’t posted here in awhile.  Truth be told, I view this site (and accompanying Facebook page) as an uplifting support system, ripe with extremely valuable insight and optimistic outlooks and advice on how best to make the most of a very trying situation.  I love how all involved help to lift each other up, give advice and share their own stories.  It’s a virtual home of hope and support, all in such a wonderful vein of positivity.

I guess lately, I’ve felt that I can’t add too much of that hopeful outlook, as I’ve been struggling as my little girl has started Kindergarten, and that changed the dynamic quite a bit for me.  I still try to call her every single day (my work Outlook Calendar is still blocked for 30 minutes every afternoon for the task).  But more and more phone calls go unanswered.  More and more text messages go unreturned.  Each unreciprocated attempt feels like another kick in the gut, to the point where I have come to not expect a connection, but rather that vacant sound of the generic voicemail voice, prompting me, yet again, to leave a message – a message that I’ll inevitably wonder if my little girl ever heard, or paid too much attention to, in light of all else that is going on in her life; a life that I feel more and more distanced from.

I don’t want to paint a portrait of desperation or despair.  As mentioned, I’ve come to… (More)

For most of the past two years I have been living 1,100 miles away from my beloved children. The decision to move far away from them did not come easily but I have had to live with it every day since then. I have tried very hard to soothe myself with the fact that they live in my ex-wife’s hometown, a small place with very few job opportunities and where, for more than eight years, I struggled to earn a living and to make friends. I know that my life there was mostly unhappy and unfulfilling but, when my ex-wife and I were together, I at least could comfort myself in knowing that I could enjoy spending time with my kids every day.

When I agreed to move to my ex-wife’s hometown 10 years ago, I did so with an open mind and a sense of adventure. We had just gotten married and were leaving behind a lot of stress and strain. For one thing, we both worked in downtown Washington, DC, and the horror of 9/11 was fresh in our minds. For another, we had just survived a nightmare scenario, in which my whole extended family went to war with us over our wedding plans, which were apparently not in line with their highfalutin standards. The idea of raising our family in a tidy little New England village near the ocean seemed quite seductive at the time. I would find a job, and she would stay home and raise… (More)

Digital natives are the children born today called. I, myself, am merely an immigrant into the world of technology. But what a fantastic world it is. Especially for the ones who cannot be with their families every day. Whether it is because of work, divorce, school or any other reason; it is tough not to see your children every day. It is hard to have to wait days, weeks and even months to see them. With smaller children the fear that they may not recognize you is always there. Now, however, in this wonderful wireless world, we can not only speak to our children, but see them as well. For free! Across cities, counties and countries Skype reunites mothers and daughters, father and sons, grandparents and grandchildren; you get the gist.

The benefits of using Skype are tremendous! There is a saying that says a picture is worth a thousand words. Just imagine being able to see your daughters face when she opens your birthday present, even though you are miles apart. Or for your son to the see just how proud you are of him when he tells you about the maths test he did so well on. It is so easy as well; even the oldest digital immigrant can use it. It truly unites families in a world where people are more spread out than ever. It is often not the big things that you are sad to have missed, but the daily routines and chats.… (More)

So you’re in one place, your child is in another and they are getting ready to go back to school. As a long distance parent, if you want to keep up with your child, how they are doing and what they are doing, school is a big part of that. Your child spends a good portion of their life in school so the school has a lot of information about how your child is doing. The school is also obligated by law to cooperate with you.

Here are the first steps to getting involved in your child’s schooling.

Here is a letter to send to the school to remind them of your rights as a parent. You should send this each year, just to be safe.

Once you’ve got all of that under your belt, they key is to be persistent. It never fails that the school will ‘forget’ to keep you in the loop and the other parent will think it is unnecessary. It is necessary and you have to be your own advocate. Insist… politely, perhaps, but insist none the less.

At the beginning of the school year, here are the necessities to have :

• School address and phone number
• Teacher(s’) name(s)
• Teacher(s’) contact information
• Class schedule
• School handbook – gain understanding or grading periods, testing etc
• Principal, Vice Principal and School Counselor’s names and contact information

Once YOU are all set, use this as an opportunity to connect with your child about the big day!

• Send your child a back to school care package with cool pencils, folder, notebooks or even back to school clothes.
• Call your child on the morning of his/her first day of school before school to wish them luck and/or after school to check on how their day went.
• Keep a binder, folder or letter tray for your child’s school information, progress reports etc for that year. At the end of the year, close it up, stash it and start a new one.