When The Custodial Parent Blocks Telephone Communication with the Kids
Tuesday, January 26, 2010 16:55This one is from the mailbox :
“My ex continues to make excuses as to why she does not answer her phone, which is my only contact with my kids. She is in one state and I am in another. My question is…is there anyway to make my ex legally responsible to answer her phone when I call? “
I’m not an attorney and this is not legal advice. I don’t know the whole story, only what’s been presented. This is from my own limited experience only.
Although a judge might never tell her she has to answer the phone, a judge will definitely enforce reasonable requests to talk to your kids. The ONLY way to prove that this is happening is to document every single instance that you call and the outcome for each time. Back this up by getting copies of your phone records. Once you have a bit of proof (more than a few phone calls), then you don’t call the authorities but instead, you put together a ‘motion’ and take her to court.
Your case has to be made in the state that has jurisdiction over the custody case. That would be either the state in which the original custody arrangement was made – or the state in which the child lives, if they have moved and been in the new state long enough. (research “The Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act” for the states in question)
When you’re ready, you file a motion in family court in the district which has jurisdiction over the case. Every state has different ways to go about this so visit or call or look up the website for that state or district family court system to find out how to do it. Once you’ve filed, you will get a hearing date that you both have to be present for.
Your other option is to hire an attorney in that district who can do it for you. If you have an attorney, they can go to court for you and you won’t have to travel there for the hearing. If you don’t have an attorney, you will either have to travel there for the hearing – or some court rooms allow you to call in. Again, check with that court system to find out.
At your hearing, the judge will listen to both sides and make a decision. Either that mom has to allow you to talk to your kids x number of times a week or at certain times – or that you don’t have enough proof… or otherwise. What the judge says goes so convincing the judge is key. Once the decision is made, if mom doesn’t follow it, you can go back to court and complain and action can be taken against her. But, you still have to have proof. So make sure that from this day forward, you document everything, even once you have a judgment.
Rebecca says:
January 16th, 2012 at 6:32 pm
So what happens when the only form of communication is via phone but their father keeps bashing me (our kids Mother) every time he calls!? he tells me to die, says vulgar things to me through the kids. I keep documenting the phone calls and i’ve asked him to stop several times via email so its documented but he keeps doing it. I want to block him and not answer his calls anymore. Is that legal? Our kids are 17months and 2-1/2. It’s crazy. He thinks im not giving the kids the phone. They’re too young to talk on the phone but they understand it’s their father on the phone. I never say a bad word about him to them. They’ll figure it out on their own. What are MY rights to protect myself and the kids?
Carrie says:
January 17th, 2012 at 8:08 am
What you are describing is inappropriate behavior for either the custodial or non custodial parent. I’m not an attorney and I can’t give you legal advice. That said, in order to do anything, you first have to have proof that it’s happening. Document it, collect proof. Then either follow up by pursuing custody or visitation changes through your custody case, or if there is an imminent threat, with your local police department.
I wouldn’t advise blocking his calls unless you’ve gone to court to ask the judge if that is ok. The post you are responding to is about exactly that situation. Blocking the non custodial parent’s access to the kids is not legal unless a judge has said it’s ok – nor is it necessarily good for the kids.