Last Updated on April 8, 2026 by Distance Parent
Get the Support You Need as a Long Distance Parent
No matter how a person comes to be in a long distance parenting situation, by choice or by circumstance, one thing remains true: being away from a child is hard. Having a support system does not make it easy, but it makes it significantly more manageable. Finding people who understand without having to explain yourself first changes everything.
Holly, a longtime Distance Parent community member, puts it simply: “Meeting other long distance parents has helped me to understand that I am absolutely not alone. It is refreshing to share experiences with other parents who don’t look at me with judgment when I say my daughter lives in another state.”
That sense of being understood without judgment is what good support looks like. Here is where to find it.
Online Community
The most accessible form of support for distance parents is online, and it is often the most immediately helpful because it is available at any hour and connects you with parents who are living exactly what you are living.
The Distance Parent Facebook group is an active, private community of long distance parents. Discussions range from practical questions about parenting plans and travel logistics to the emotional weight of missing ordinary moments. Because it is private, your friends will not see your membership or your posts. It is a safe place to ask questions you might not feel comfortable asking elsewhere.
Reading through the personal experience stories on this site is another form of online support — not interactive, but sometimes what you need is simply to read someone else’s account of the same fears and come out the other side knowing they survived it.
Local Support Groups
In-person support groups for parents in non-traditional family situations exist in many areas and are worth seeking out. Holly found this valuable: “I recently joined a local support group for parents in similar situations. Every situation is different, and we don’t judge.”
A local group offers something an online community cannot: the experience of being physically present with people who understand. To find one, search for divorce support groups, single parent groups, or non-custodial parent support groups in your area. Community centers, churches, libraries, and family law organizations sometimes host these. A therapist or family counselor may also know of local options.
Therapy and Counseling
Individual therapy is not always the first thing that comes to mind when a long distance parent is struggling, but it is one of the most effective forms of support available. A therapist who works with family transitions, divorce, or non-traditional family structures can help you process the emotional weight of long distance parenting in a way that friends and family often cannot.
If in-person therapy is not accessible or affordable, online therapy platforms have expanded significantly and offer flexible scheduling that works across time zones, which matters when your life is organized around a child in another state.
Friends and Family
The people closest to you may want to support you but not know how. They may say the wrong things, ask questions that sting, or simply not understand why the situation is so hard. This is common and does not mean their support is not worth having.
Being direct about what you need helps. If you need someone to listen without offering solutions, say so. If you need practical help, someone to sit with you on a hard day, help with logistics, company during the quiet stretches when your child is away, ask specifically. People who care about you generally want to help and do better when they know how.
For parents who face genuine misunderstanding or judgment from those around them, the article “Judgment of a Long Distance Mom” and its comment section on this site speak directly to that experience.
Supporting Yourself
Finding external support matters, and so does how you treat yourself through the hard stretches. Long distance parents carry a particular kind of emotional weight that does not fully go away. Managing it well over the long term requires more than coping — it requires actively building a life that sustains you between visits and through the difficult periods.
Some things that help: staying physically active, maintaining friendships and interests outside of the parenting situation, giving yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment, and being honest with yourself about when you need more support than you are currently getting.
The long-distance parenting community has been building and sustaining itself for over two decades because parents in this situation genuinely need each other. You do not have to do this alone, and you should not have to.
I think that ‘not being judged’ thing is a big deal. It REALLY helps build confidence to have a community of parents experiencing a similar thing. And with confidence comes the ability to look someone square in the eye and declare it not a ‘bad’ thing that your parenting arrangement happens to be long distance. 🙂
Holly,
I have just come across this site, I am a really looongg distance parent; my son is in the States and I am in Europe. I made this move almost two years ago and I am dying for some ways to help myself emotionally to come to terms with my decision and to learn how to cope. Often I am at a loss as to what to tell myself to combat guilt feelings, I love my son and want to be with him but I do not have the resources to live near him. I have to adjust to seeing him the two or three times a year that I can when I go back to visit him. We talk frequently on skype but lately he’s been saying things that are revealing to how much he misses me–how do I help him come to peace with the way things are? My son is ten years old.
Cheers,
Natalie
Natalie, Obviously, every situation is different but one thing we all appear to have in common is a feeling of guilt. I think most people would consider that a normal, even healthy, reaction to being away from a child. In my personal experience, obsessing over what could have been is not a good thing. Maybe, in hindsight, certain things could have been handled differently – or maybe not, depending on the situation. I have days when I miss my daughter so much I cry uncontrollably but I always make a point to remain positive and upbeat when we talk on the phone. When she says she misses me, I tell her I miss her too and can’t wait to see her again. I then usually engage her in planning what we will do when we see each other. It never gets easy but it can become more manageable. When is your next visit?
Holly
I agree. Being judged is the worst part. My own family has disowned me because of my choice to move away. It is painful to miss my children, even more painful to realize that my family thinks that I am not worried or concerned about my kids. I am grow more and more angry every day about this. How do I deal with my resentment toward my family and parent my children long distance? I also feel that when my kids are around my family, I am under-minded by my family. They eluded that I am a horrible mother and pour pity on my children. I don’t think that helps me or them.
First, I would address how YOU feel about being a long distance mom. If you don’t feel shame or guilt, it’s harder for them to make you feel badly.
That said, there is really little else that can be done other than to use every experience as a learning experience. For instance, if they say something nasty, rather than reacting, Take a few deep breaths and relax, try to relate to where they are coming from… then just release it. Just let it go. It’s not your anger and bitterness.. it’s theirs. Let them marinate in their own grossness. 🙂 Relax, relate, release. 🙂
Kids are really smart. Yes, a long distance parents are easily undermined because they aren’t RIGHT THERE. They get away with more with the other parent, maybe. But eventually, in hind sight, the only things a kid sees is how they feel about a particular parent. If you are honest, firm and loving with them, that is supportive and positive for them and they will feel it. Pick your battles. CHOOSE not to get wound up about the small stuff and decide what’s REALLY a big stuff and what’s REALLY a small stuff.
I do feel guilt. I think society conditions us to feel that, less so for men. I know what I am doing is best for me and the future and I stay strong and true to that. I believe that the future can and will be better. I find that being forgiving and, as you said, releasing it, sets me free. From there I am free to deal with my self, my feelings and deal with my children in a loving and supportive way.
Still, it’s hard…. I choose not to spend christmas with my children because they ( and their father) were spending a few days with my parents. When I told my mother I was planning on coming down to be with my children, she told me “not to bother” and to do her a “favor” and “stay” where I was. I thought that it was better to avoid a fight and allow my children to enjoy their time with their grandparents. My daughter told me that they had a lot of fun but that my mother told her that I “wasn’t invited to join them because of my attidude”. It was very very hard to bite my tongue and smile and tell her how glad I was that she has fun.
I hope that being loving, kind, firm and patient will be the answer and in the end, I am only concerned about my children and myself and have choosen to forget everyone else.
I sure do feel for you, danielle. I have a sister who is the opposite and is angry with me because I chose NOT to give up my children and return back home to where all of my family is. Actually, I am in the process of considering it BUT for the reason that I have a grown daughter and new grandbaby that frankly, I really dont know (I do have a great relationship with my grown daughter). I have been alone up here where I got divorced for 7 years and I am homesick in the worst way and I am on the welfare system and that is something that I didnt have to do back home. My litle ones are at the age where I feel they would understand if I went back home. My X is offering for me to do up a plan where I can see them as often as I reasonably can. I am considering it because I have been in such deep depression for so many years now and there is nobody here-nobody. My little ones are here and when they go on visits to their dad, I sink. I miss my home, my siblings, my daughter and want to know my new grandbaby, and the big thing is that if I keep things the way they are now, then my little ones here would only get to see their oldest sister about at the most 1 week per year. If I did go back home, they would be able to stay 2-3 months out the year not counting the holidays, so that is something to consider also. Between webcam, phone calls and fre