So you’ve got your webcam set up and you are both seeing each other. Now what? Here are some activities that work well for internet visitation.

What are some things that you do with your kids while you are… (More)

As some of you may know, my son, who was at a distance for a few years, moved to live with me in December. It’s now June and it’s time for him to head to his dad’s for summer vacation. This morning as me, him and my step daughter were eating breakfast, I mentioned that she would not be at our house tomorrow – she would be at her mom’s – so this is the last time they will see each other for a couple of months. (all of this blended family scheduling goodness!)

Emma: “You won’t be here for two months?!”
Ethan: “Nope.”
Me: “Yeah… so make sure you guys say goodbye this morning.. ok? You won’t see each other for two months.”
Ethan: “Well.. maybe not two months.”
Me: “… ”
Ethan: “… there is that thing that starts with an N… ”
Me: “OH! Netmeeting! Of course! You guys can definitely see each other over the internet and do netmeeting. That’s right!”
(le duh!)
Emma: “Yeah.. and we can play games!”

And both kids just went right on as if everything was just normal. And everything WAS normal. And it was then that I realized that he and she have adapted to this whole distance family thing. They are cool with it and they are adept at keeping those relationships alive. I taught them that. What a proud moment in distance parenting.

I have recently given out this information to several long distance parents and it’s helpful stuff. Did you know that Utah and Wisconsin have laws on the books that require a judge to consider virtual visitation as part of a long distance parenting arrangement? Of course, this wouldn’t be used to substitute for in-person parenting time which is another thing that the laws help with.

There are bills in several other states including Illinois, Virginia, Missouri and Ohio and there is pre-bill activity in several other states.

You can find a complete list of all of the states here as well as sample letters that you can use to write to senators and state representatives in your state to support these bills.

When getting a divorce, there are a million things to consider. Add custody to the mix.. and the possibility of having a distance relationship between one of the parents and the child and you have a virtual circus on your hands. Here are some things to remember in your long distance divorce and custody agreement.

Make it what you want

Your divorce agreement and parenting plan can include just about anything that you want it to include as long as either A. both parents agree to include it or B. If the other parent disputes it, the judge says it should be there. The thing to remember is that this agreement, once made will be very difficult – if not impossible to change.

MAKE SURE that you read, re-read and read again every single line before you sign anything. Make sure that you have considered every item as well as possible and that you agree with everything there. Should disagreements arise between yourself and your futuer ex-spouse, try to negotiate by adding or taking away conditions that make it more pleasant for them. Use other items that arent as important to barter with. Always with the frame of mind of coming to a common ground. Should that be impossible to do, consider going to mediation.

Remember what’s important

The child! In the thick of things, it’s easy to get caught up in how horrible the other parent is and how much you dislike them or how hurt you are by… (More)

What is Internet Visitation (Virtual Visitation)?

Internet or virtual visitation is when a parent and child are able to see each other via webcams over the internet. This gives them the opportunity to see each other face to face in addition to talking on the phone and in-person visitation.

How does that work?

Each person (you and your child) has a setup where they are. At a pre-arranged time, you both logon and start your webcam and sound. You are able to see and hear each other almost as if you were in the same room. You can read books together, play games and almost any other activity that you can do in person.

Is it hard to learn?

Most of the software you could use is built to be really intuitive and easy. Where kids are concerned, they ave probably been around computers since the day they were born and they tend to take to it really easily.

What about legally?

In order to make virtual visitation a part of your custody agreement, you need to have a parenting plan that allows for it. Currently, although it is possible to have it legally enforced, many parents still have to fight for that right. Unfortunately, it isnt given as freely as other types of visitation. There are currently virtual visitation laws on the books in several states including Texas, Missouri, Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, South Carolina, Utah and New Jersey. You can keep up with current legislation… (More)