I was trolling the net for long distance parenting stuff and I ran across this gem : Instructions and Guidance for your Long Distance Parenting Plan by the 6th Judicial Circuit Court of Florida, Family Law Division.

It’s a really great rundown of the stuff to consider in creating a long distance parenting plan including a good list of links to other resources as well as to sample parenting plans including important aspects of long distance parenting such as travel arrangements.

It wasn’t so long ago that a ‘long distance parenting plan’ was unheard of and long distance parents were considered deadbeats by default and automatically discounted in their efforts to maintain relationships with their kids. Kudos to this court for being proactive in their effort to help these situations be easier and healthier to all involved.

…sending stuff to them (I love to make cookies for them), webcam visits, phone calls…and them having good quality time when they are with us with lots of hugs and affection will be remembered and cherished…they will keep them warm even when our arms aren’t there to hug them.

- Deb, a long distance mom

My son is young and I have been out of his life probably for as long as he can remember. I would like to start contact again but I don’t even know where to start. Any tips on how to start or what to do?

I would recommend talking to a child psychologist to get some good insight. They be able to give you good pointers and reliable advice based upon your specific situation and your specific child - and should you ever need to go to court, that is a mature, responsible approach that will be on your side.

Past that, slow and easy. Write letters or cards, even if you live in the same city. Do supervised visitation for a while to make sure he feels completely comfortable with you before you ask for unsupervised time. Don’t expect miracles and try to remain humble and hopeful even if you have a tough day. Get onto a schedule that he can depend upon. Be reliable. Don’t make promises you won’t keep and keep all of the…

So you’re in one place, your child is in another and they are getting ready to go back to school. As a long distance parent, if you want to keep up with your child, how they are doing and what they are doing, school is a big part of that. Your child spends a good portion of their life in school so the school has a lot of information about how your child is doing. The school is also obligated by law to cooperate with you.

Here are the first steps to getting involved in your child’s schooling.

Here is a letter to send to the school to remind them of your rights as a parent. You should send this each year, just to be safe.

Once you’ve got all of that under your belt, they key is to be persistent. It never fails that the school will ‘forget’ to keep you in the loop and the other parent will think it is unnecessary. It is necessary and you have to be your own advocate. Insist… politely, perhaps, but insist…

• Send your child a back to school care package with cool pencils, folder, notebooks or even back to school clothes.
• Call your child on the morning of his/her first day of school before school to wish them luck and/or after school to check on how their day went.
• Keep a binder, folder or letter tray for your child’s school information, progress reports etc for that year. At the end of the year, close it up, stash it and start a new one.