Distanceparent.org has been alive and kicking for almost seven years now, when there were only two other websites devoted to even remotely related topics on the whole www.

Not too long ago, I added advertising to the site which has generated a small amount towards supporting the site. Otherwise, the site has been supported out of pocket.

To be candid, in September, I was assaulted by my husband and sustained injuries that made me unable to work. That on top of the divorce (of COURSE I divorced him!) has left me in dire financial straights. I am no longer able to financially support the site on my own.

Countless numbers of long distance parents have gotten support and information from the site but this time, it’s my turn to ask for their support. If you have found the site useful and have the means, please consider using the donation links at the website to donate to keeping it up and running. I, and other long distance parents, would be very thankful for your generosity.

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When someone tells me they are getting a divorce and the other parent will be getting physical custody of the child(ren), there is one piece of advice I always give them. It is : Make your parenting plan EXACTLY what you want no matter how wonderful your relationship with the other parent is right now, no matter how idealistic your views of co-parenting may be… plan for the worst.

My ex and I split quite peacefully. There was some pain and hurt - but we were friends. We wanted our son to always have both parents. We wanted to cooperate and co-parent even though we were separated. We had a verbal agreement and even went so far as to take it to an attorney to make it official (we thought “WOW… that’s a stretch… make it legal?! We don’t need to do all that, do we?”).

Then his mother and then, girlfriend got involved. Oddly, the attorney disappeared along with the written agreement. Suddenly, he simply was not going to give me my son, as we…

Along my journey gathering community around long distance parenting, I’ve read and seen a lot of things regarding divorce, child custody, non-custodial parents, deadbeat parents and parental alienation syndrome. One thing that sticks out to me is how gender biased the stories typically are.

Rather than being centered around parents in general, it’s about fathers or mothers or men or women. Take for example this post by Richard Gardener. He all but blames the advent of parental alienation syndrome upon mothers even going so far as to say :

We see here how those who deny the existence of PAS are adding formidably to the grief of women. Women’s past denial and discrediting of PAS has now come back to haunt them. Women are now being injured by their own weapons, or, as the old saying goes, they are being “hoist by their own pitards.”

That is one of the most ridiculous, one sided, prejudiced things I’ve ever read. Granted, mothers were often awarded physical custody based primarily upon the fact that they were women not…

Sometimes when I step back and look at my family with my kids and their families, it can take on the appearance of some sort of cobbled together patchwork of not quite perfect stories. Like stitched together pieces that sometimes aren’t exactly the right size, held together by string and intention.

In my own family, I have chosen to have very little contact with my mother and I am growing closer and closer to my father, who I didn’t have a relationship with for the first part of my life. My only blood sister is on the opposite side of the country and my various other family members by blood and marriage are far flung as well. Instead of having the immediate proximity of blood and marriage family, I’ve chosen a hodgepodge of folks for my chosen family. People of all races, genders and backgrounds. Some of my chosen family is scattered across the globe as well.

My son lives with me now but didn’t always. My step daughter lives with her mother. Her father and I…

Rick Ortiz posted an interesting article about virtual visitation that I presume is by Richard Coffee. Unfortunately, between the two captcha systems, I couldn’t get my comment to post. So here is a response to the article.

You raise very legitimate points that I think every parent should consider when creating a long distance parenting plan. However, many, if not all, of these concerns can be addressed with proper planning prior to creating a parenting plan that includes virtual visitation.

Although abuse of long distance parenting plans may occur, there is no more risk of that than with any other parenting arrangement. Just like abuse or violations in the parenting agreement of a non-long distance situation, violations of a long distance parenting plan can and should be pursued through the courts. As someone who has taken care of such violations in court, I am quite certain that a parent’s rights to visitation, no matter the means, or not to be otherwise alienated from their child are respected by any judge.

Again, as a parent who has been…